But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
