note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
