More tranny stories later!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
