The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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