with your own penis?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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