So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
