Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
