Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
