There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
