I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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