you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
