I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
