You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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