$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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