I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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