That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
