This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
