True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I am one with the molecules
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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