id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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