maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
