Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize