Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
