I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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