he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So. Much. Porn.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
