I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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