It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
