Non-Jews are for practice
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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