I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize