So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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