She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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