Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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