the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i barfeds in our rink
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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