I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
