youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize