bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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