i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
