Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
