HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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