six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
