i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
