Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
