thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
