I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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