my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
