JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
