Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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