is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
