I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
