I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
