i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
