If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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